i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
