Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
you will always have a special place in my vag
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
my poor anus
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
