drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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