end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
