I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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