I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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