dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
