if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
All I want is dick and wine.
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