she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize