she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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