I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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