Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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