Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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