New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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