Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Randomize
