i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
