The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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