he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
