Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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