that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize