dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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