The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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