I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Life is so much better after having sex.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
