I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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