Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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