Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
What drink are we having for lunch?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
