Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
