I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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