she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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