Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
