My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
