My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I supernannyed him into submission
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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