I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
