when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
