It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
