i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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