I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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