She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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