What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
