At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
