Swine flu. Run for my life!
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
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