It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
third nipple confirmed
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
