next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
