You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
