Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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