I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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