Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Randomize
