you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just cut my nipple shaving
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
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