I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
