just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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