Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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