I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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