I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
