Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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