Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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