i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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