when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
