you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
