i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
