I am puke
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
