I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
