The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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