I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
You smell like stripper and shame
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
