i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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