So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
